in keeping with the self-reflection, i recently decided something about myself. for every single personality trait you can say about me, the exact opposite is also true.
i'm selfish and selfless.
i'm intelligent and lack common sense.
i'm organized and scattered.
i'm oblivious and pay attention to detail.
i'm kind and heartless.
i'm lazy and work tirelessly.
i'm half-assed and a perfectionist.
i'm patient and easily annoyed.
i'm creative and unoriginal.
i'm easy-going and particular.
i'm shy and outspoken.
i'm passionate and apathetic.
this is a new revelation to me and i've always known it.
i wrote a poem for my grade 13 writer's craft class entitled "walking contradiction" and in it, i compared myself to opposite objects. things like a fuzzy pink sweater and a threadbare grey hoodie. i don't remember the exact comparisons (i'll add it here if i can dig it up somewhere and if i ever get around to it.) but the objects i chose to describe aspects of my dualism were symbolic and also literally very me.