Sunday, September 26, 2010

gazen parapara gakuen

i've gotten fat lately... maybe if i start doing parapara, i can take off the extra padding~

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

crafty hobby

i was introduced to fimo (polymer clay) when i was a teenager. i bought a few packages but never made anything. in fact, the clay got too hard and dried out. but a few years ago, my neice emily got her mom's old collection out and started making little figures. (she's quite talented~) so during a visit, i got back into it. last year, my husband bought me a new collection.

i've made a few little things but nothing special so far.

lately, i've had a few images in my head so i thought working them out in fimo might be interesting. last night, i decided to give it a go... i only got as far as mixing some colour combos. i did that for about 2 and a half hours! ...it came at a price.

my arm is killing me!! i can't even move it. the bandage is the only thing that keeps the muscle from throbbing.

and i only ended up making three beads!

Monday, August 09, 2010

untapped potential??

people are always telling me "you have so much potential"... i would like someone to tell me how exactly i can tap into this! do you ever see such wonderful, creative works of art that SHOULD inspire you to want to create something wonderful yourself but instead just feel defeated before you even begin? i THINK i have some marvelous things wandering around in my brain but it's very foggy up there and i can quite see them clearly. i only see these things in fleeting glimpses... so frustrating and a bit discouraging! i know they're in there but i don't know how to get them out~
i've been looking at a lot of polymer clay stuff and i'd like to attempt doing something more than my basic nintendo and studio ghibli charcters (although i must say, they turn out pretty cute). there is such amazing detail that people put into their creations that i feel... defeated. yup. that's the perfect word. (check out this as a gateway to what i'm talking about ~
http://polymerclaydaily.com)
sometimes, i think i could draw out what i see inside the murkiness of my head but it never turns out. aaaaaaaargh. what to do to let this "creative potential" out into the real world....
ever wonder what it must be like inside the brain of tim burton or hayao miyazaki? it must be so clear and bright and vivid. they are my imaginative gurus! oh, to be able to make the visions tactile~ what bliss eludes me!

Sunday, August 01, 2010

but i still have more to say~

i can't write in nice and neatly packaged sentences so i'll just put down some thoughts...

as a parent, i don't want to be controlling and obsessed with all the details. i don't want to miss the big picture. i want my children to grow up healthy, happy, and secure. i want to seek that delicate balance between being oblivious and hyper-vigilant. i don't want to worry about every little thing they put in their mouths. i don't want my life to add up to only the number of straws i poked through juice boxes or how many underroos i washed. i want what every good parent wants but i don't want to end up like most parents... and i don't want my kids to end up like most kids.

motherhood... looks freakin' scary!

i'm watching the movie "motherhood"... it's scaring the crap out of me!! i don't want to be like that!! omg...
my husband and i are trying to start our own family. the timing is good and everything and i do want a baby but......... it's so scary!!!!!
i wish i could be eloquent and then i would blog regularily.... i have so much going on in my head.... i don't know who originally wrote/said this but it sums it up "my thoughts are many; my words are few"
my words don't flow the same way my feelings do so i'm going to leave it at that...

Monday, May 03, 2010

an honest email

of course, we've all had this sent to us before but i decided to post it here because... it's so true~

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Children... You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 18 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

thoughts~

i wonder how you're doing
i wonder if you're happy
i wonder if you ever think of me

Monday, February 15, 2010

i was just looking over my previous posts... i thought it was funny that i wrote before i was married that i wanted a baby and didn't want to wait 3 or 4 years. it's been 3 or 4 years ~
i went through a phase of wanting a baby for a few months, then went back to not for a few years...
so, we've passed the idea back and forth since that last post. many pros and cons but we're at the point that we've decided to go ahead with it...
we got married in 2007 and bought a house a few months later, so that's out of the way.
another thing that i wanted to do before having children was to fulfill my dream of going to japan. i orginally wanted to go for an extended period of time but it's better to go for a visit than not at all. since i'm not currently working and we do have a mortgage to deal with... i was thinking i would have to get a part time job and work for a year or two and then finally be able to go BUT when jay and i were talking about it last month, he agreed that we should go soon. i was going to go next month with a friend but she's pregnant (ironically) and i didn't want to go by myself... jay had promised before we got married that we would go together one day, thinking five years from then, because we weren't going on a honeymoon.
soooooo ~ we plan to go in may for our 3rd anniversary as our honeymoon AND will actively "start trying" when we return... but i've stopped taking BC so if it happens before then.......

p.s. i also just found out my sister is currently 11 weeks with her second ~ yay!