an honest email

of course, we've all had this sent to us before but i decided to post it here because... it's so true~

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Children... You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 18 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

thoughts~

i wonder how you're doing
i wonder if you're happy
i wonder if you ever think of me

i was just looking over my previous posts... i thought it was funny that i wrote before i was married that i wanted a baby and didn't want to wait 3 or 4 years. it's been 3 or 4 years ~
i went through a phase of wanting a baby for a few months, then went back to not for a few years...
so, we've passed the idea back and forth since that last post. many pros and cons but we're at the point that we've decided to go ahead with it...
we got married in 2007 and bought a house a few months later, so that's out of the way.
another thing that i wanted to do before having children was to fulfill my dream of going to japan. i orginally wanted to go for an extended period of time but it's better to go for a visit than not at all. since i'm not currently working and we do have a mortgage to deal with... i was thinking i would have to get a part time job and work for a year or two and then finally be able to go BUT when jay and i were talking about it last month, he agreed that we should go soon. i was going to go next month with a friend but she's pregnant (ironically) and i didn't want to go by myself... jay had promised before we got married that we would go together one day, thinking five years from then, because we weren't going on a honeymoon.
soooooo ~ we plan to go in may for our 3rd anniversary as our honeymoon AND will actively "start trying" when we return... but i've stopped taking BC so if it happens before then.......

p.s. i also just found out my sister is currently 11 weeks with her second ~ yay!

Christmas Gift Giving Ideas~

The Christmas season is coming... soon! I am always a last minute person (not just for buying gifts!) so I've started to think about what to give each person on my list. (I ALMOST wish people would stop getting married and having kids ~ the list is always expanding!!)
I've always thought that a gift says not only a lot about you but also what you think about the person you are giving it to. I don't have a problem, per se, with giving or recieving gift cards/certificates (especially from a favourite store) but... I don't think it's "impersonal" as everyone says or "thoughtless" but it seems to say "I don't know you very well". (BTW, If anyone wants to get me some gc's, I wouldn't mind both Lululemon and Chapters!! haha)
Anyway, I'm trying to think of some inspired gift giving ideas... I have some people who are quite difficult. (as in, I don't "know" them very well and don't want to give them gift cards!)
I've only come up with one so far but it could work for more than one person. I have decided, in the spirit of giving, to share it with readers so that you may use it too, if you wish.
I like to call it "The Uplifting Book". I have a feeling that it would be best given to the women in your lives ~ wives, sisters, mothers, daughters, friends, etc.
Buy one of those books with blank pages (one would call it a journal...) ~ something with an inspirational quotes on the cover. Chapters/Indigo has some nice ones. You know ~ the ones that say "dance like no ones watching..." On the inside cover, write your Merry Christmas/Happy Ramadan/Channukah/Kwanza/whatever message. The next page, the purpose of the book ~ which is to fill its blank pages with things you find uplifting. Suggest things that can fill it with ~ quotes, memories, lists of top 5's (favourite places to go, songs, smells, etc.), "what matters most to me", "nice things people have said about me" (you can fill in)... Whatever you can think of. I think it's also sweet to randomly open to a page and make a template for one of those ideas... Do several. (The books I'm thinking of are pretty thick anyway).
And, if you WANT to give a gift certificate... put it inside the book!

So.... what do you think would make a great, thoughtful gift? Reply please!

The Secret

I’m watching the first twenty minutes of The Secret on YouTube… I believe in the law of attraction ~ but more so how your thoughts are projected through your body language and facial expression. ie. negative thinking will attract negativity because you exude it ~ confidence makes people respect you…
I’ve been a negative person. I’ve often thought things like, “I have nothing to offer” or “My friends don’t care about me”, etc. These thoughts have indeed manifested. Even if it was a little bit before, it has gotten worse since I was focused on it. So, I have an idea. A lot of therapists tell you to repeat positive things over and over and then you will begin to believe them. So, in order to “empower” myself as they are saying, I want to write a short mantra or perhaps a few and print them out, post them, and read them out loud to myself everyday. Sort of an audio visual board. I made my vision board on my computer desktop as Oprah suggested but I haven’t believed it was possible. But, with repetitive statements about myself, it seems simpler. I’m thinking statements like “I am a good friend.”, “I have the strength to stick to a healthy routine.”
Meditation will also be beneficial, I think. No meditation that yogis do but just picking a happy thought, listening to a powerful piece of music and just holding onto it and pushing all else from my mind. Picture myself being how I want to be. Unlike the people in this film, I don’t want power, tons of money, etc. My main goals are happiness, health, harmony, and love. I want to lead a simple lifestyle, low on stress. I want to have meaningful connections with people. I want to make an impact on the world not so my name will be known but so people in general are happier and more considerate of others. I want to help in the healing of the earth. 
I will begin tomorrow (well, technically today! Haha ~ it’s already almost 5 am). I’m not going to make a long list of things I want to do… because I don’t want to feel badly about myself if I can’t check them off. I’m simply going to write down 3 “mantras” to say to myself once a day (or more, if I feel like it), print them out and post them somewhere I’ll see them. To start with, how about “I am in a good mood”, “Today is a good day”, “I am blessed”. Simple enough, right?
…I wonder what types of things Kate Gosselin has posted around her house these days. She used to have a lot of that. I really feel for her and truly admire her integrity throughout the past year. (I have so much to say about it all but now is not the time…) One written “vision” I can add for now is that I want to have a good conversation with Kate Gosselin someday. I like her and hope she and her children go on to have happy, peaceful lives. 

babies on the brain

I want to have a baby… but I want to be ready. I know I will never feel that way so I’m wondering if it’s something that I should just allow to happen. I’m afraid… of so many things. I don’t want to bring a baby into this world for selfish reasons. Yes, I want to love someone. I do love people but a child is different. Your own child is different… I want to watch someone grow for their whole life. I want to pass on my values and ideals. I want to see Jay as a father. I want … purpose. Really, what IS a good reason to have a child?

I’m afraid that I will be too inconsistent. I’m afraid I will slack off. I’m afraid I will put myself ahead of my child. I’m afraid of childbirth!! I’m afraid of the emotional scars that I will create. I’m afraid my child will get into bad things.

When is a good time? Should I still go to school first? Should I go to Japan? Should I try to find a job I love? Should I be in peak physical shape? Do I HAVE to be? Is there anyone or thing that can give me answers to these questions? What if I make the wrong choices….

♥~my love story~♥

i originally posted this as a "note" on facebook. thought i'd put it here. just cause.

let's share ~

if i tagged you, i'm interested in your story ~ how you met, why you fell in love, etc. (or thought you might be interested in mine... haha)

When I moved to Winnipeg right out of high school (literally, the day after classes ended ~ June 26, 1999), I told my friends I would be back. St. George/Brantford is where I "grew up" and the longest I had ever lived in one place... it was home. So... I never really gave Winnipeg a fair shot...

The only people I really hung out with were my cousins and brother. I didn't make friends (until, like, 2 or 3 months before I left).

I started working for Ann at her Levi's store in March 2000... being the astute judge of character that she is, she realized just how cool I reallly am...

That sets the stage~

Ann said that she had plans with people on Saturday night, Sept 23, 2000 and since she knew I didn't know too many people (haha ~ have any friends, she meant!!), she asked if I wanted to hang out with her brother, who was in town from Edmonton and also didn't know anyone. (He was doing a practicum for his last year of pharmacy ~ one week in to the three weeks.) Just to hang out... not a date. No pressure.

I hadn't made definite plans and thought it could be interesting hanging out with a complete stranger so I said okay. But... he was a complete stranger... so Friday, I told her, maybe not. But Ann has a way of convincing you to do stuff that is "good for you" ~ so...

... I was off work at 6:30 but the mall closed at 6:00, so he had to wait. (We actually finished about 10 after, but then I had to brush my teeth, change my clothes, and touch up my makeup. Not a date.... but a girl's still gotta look good when meeting a new guy!)

btw~ Ann didn't even tell me his name (or forgot to or I forgot to ask or something) so I asked my manager earlier that day would had met him once or twice a few years back.

After my co-worker and I dropped off the store deposit at the bank, I met him outside my store and the very first words I said were, "So, where are we going?" (I thought I was just being confident or assertive or something. Turns out, his immediate first impression of me was that I was a snob~ I get that a lot...)

Actually (I just remembered), he came into the store awhile before we closed to introduce himself. I think we shook hands or something and I told him when we'd be finished...

We determined where his car was and decided while walking to it that we would figure out things to do while driving. I don't remember completely but  I think we were both saying "whatever you want to do" (not to be polite... that's just how we both are ~ and that set the tone for the rest of life...). We drove around for awhile... but that turned out to be a good thing...

While driving around, he said his cds were at my feet and I could pick whatever I wanted to listen to. I was flipping through while we talked. He asked me what I usually listened to ~ my reply, of course (at the time) was hip hop/r&b, my favourites being 112, Ginuwine, Missy Elliot, etc. He didn't have much interest. His cds were Pearl Jam, Moist, Smashing Pumpkins.... okay, but not my type....

Then I flipped to Blink-182, Green Day, and Weezer (my OTHER favourites I had failed to mention). "Oh, I love these!" ~ or something. "Oh yeah..." blah blah blah "I think I'll go with Green Day..."

Jay figured at that point that I would pick Dookie (cause EVERYONE knows it) or maybe Nimrod.... but I went with 1039 ~ Green Day's first album, popped it in, and started singing along... He was impressed.

...anyway~

We ended driving all the way down to the Forks, ending up at Brannigan's for dinner. Then we went all the way back to Polo Park to see Hollow Man at the theatre ~ both agreeing it was a terrible movie. Then we still wanted to hang out... and I lived close so we went back to my house.... haha ~ that sounds so bad! We just hung out, talking, quizzing each other on life stories... whatever. APPARENTLY, I showed him all my pictures. I know... it's weird. (He always brings that up!) But, it shows how comfortable we were. (He was telling me all his stories too.) We ended up talking until 6:00am.

When he finally decided he should go home, we made plans to hang out again ~ the next day, he, Ann, and her husband were going to the States to go shopping so we said we'd do something the day after.

We spent everyday from then on for the rest of the two weeks he was in Winnipeg together. A few days before he left, I changed my mind from "fling" to "boyfriend". (I hadn't been up for a long distance relationship but he was just so great~ :) )

We met at Christmas in Toronto/Mississauga for a few days (Ann moved there in November to open Below the Belt and her whole family was visiting ~ I went to spend time with Jay and had plans to see my high school friends (didn't happen... storm) and my former co-workers.) Then he came to visit me in Winnipeg the day after Valentine's (I told him to skip the 14th cause I've never liked it) for a week. Then I went to see him in May for his university graduation.

Oh yeah ~ we knew that long distance relationships are only temporary and he knew of my plans to return to Ontario. Since Ann told me of her plans to open BTB there, I asked if I could transfer. Jay said there were a lot of Pharmacy oppotunities in Ontario and since his sister lived there, he wanted to move there.

So, in June, he came to visit me for a few days, just stopping off while he moved across the country. Two more months apart (excpet the week that I took in July to go look for apartments and visit my high school friends) and then I moved August 31, 2001.

We moved in together in April 2003. He had lived with his sister and I was roommates with my former-then-reunited-co-worker (after 3 months in a shit hole alone... usually staying with Jay instead due to bugs... *shudder*).

We got married May 5, 2007 and moved into our house October 31, 2007. Marital bliss from then on~

There... that gives you the gist. (Seriously, I can't believe you read the whole thing.)

I wrote this cause someone asked (Hi MiaoMiao-san!!) and I never got a chance to tell the story. That's how we met and some of the superficial reasons we got together. Not much of what I like about him or why things worked out...

If you write your story ~ make it more interesting please!!

A New Earth

“You do not become good by trying to be good, but by finding the good that is already in you, and allowing that goodness to emerge.” (page 13)

Why I read this book

I watched several people, famous and regular people, talk about how this book had opened their eyes or changed their lives. I thought that it would be interesting to read; that there might be something in the book that spoke to me. I have been struggling with depression much of my life and what looking for answers. I didn’t know who I was and had no passion. I felt that life was meaningless and the only reason I hadn’t killed myself was because I loved my husband and promised to him that I would never give up completely. I constantly prayed to God to send me a sign that my life could change.

I tend to procrastinate. I didn’t buy the book. In fact, I even made an online order for two other books and not for “A New Earth”. When my order arrived, I had also received another order (presumably by accident) and in it was the book. My first thought was to contact the company and return the order even though I wanted to read it. I thought it would be “bad karma” to keep something that wasn’t mine. Morals aside, I had asked God for a sign. How rude it would be to ignore one dumped in my lap!

How the book changed my life

When I first picked up the book, I was thinking that it might have something useful in it’s pages that could help me in my struggle. I was also sceptical of the people I had seen talking about it on Oprah, thinking “How much can a book actually change your life?!”

Within the first three chapters, my life had changed!

My path to awakening

I have always been someone who thinks. I constantly thought about thinking. Why did I do things I did? Why did I think the way I thought? I pulled myself out of the present moment to ponder what was going on, how I reacted to it, what it all meant. I once had a psychologist say that she had never met someone who thought so much about their own thinking. When I first started reading, I thought, “Wow, I must be really awake…” That was my ego talking! I had been so identified with the voice in my head. I walked around everyday in a cloud of darkness. Negative thoughts bombarded me constantly. I was a person who would be in a situation and think things like “I hate being here” and “I wish I was anywhere else but here”. People told me that I was my own worst enemy and that it was my negative thinking blowing things out of proportion that made life so unliveable to me. They told me all I had to do was change my thinking. Easy for them to say, I thought. They hadn’t been in my head and didn’t know how long this pattern of behaviour had been going on. How was I to just change? “A New Earth” was the answer.

Recently, I had been very depressed and thinking about suicide. I couldn’t live with myself. I felt I wasn’t myself but it had been such a long time I felt this way that I didn’t know who myself was. I felt so lost. It was within this mindset that I began reading the book. For me it was like a movie that takes awhile to get into. (Like Oprah says, at least give the first fifty pages a try).

Once Tolle began talking about the voice in the head as not you, I had my first 'aha-moment'. That’s why I knew this state I was in was not me… I was living my life as if my ego was all that I was.

I don’t know precisely where in the book things changed for me but I realized the most important things: I am not my ego, I was making the present my enemy, and what a power NOW held. In an instant, my unhappiness left me. It still rears its ugly head from time to time but I am getting better at creating that space around me and my emotions and I can then choose how to act. My new motto is, “It is what it is.” I remind myself “This too will pass.” When I feel myself that I am not the person I (my ego) want to be, I can accept it and say, “I am who I am” and feel peace.

My struggles with these ideas

I am trying to accept “this too shall pass” and view materialism accordingly. I have become less attached to objects and feelings but what I struggle with is my attachment to my husband. Before I read the book, the only reason I was alive was because I loved my husband. I knew that if it weren’t for him in my life, I would have absolutely no reason to live and no want to live. At the time I started reading, he was away for six days for a business conference and I wallowed in my worry that something could happen to him and he might not come back. Needless to say, I am very attached to my husband! We are very close and have always say things like we are made for each other and we are soulmates. I’ve often viewed him as an angel sent from God who saved my life. I feel a very deep connection on a non-material level. If I put it into my own words, my soul (my “Being”) is connected to his soul.

Tolle doesn’t mention an afterlife or what happens to our being when we die. I get the idea that we “return” to the conciousness and I believe that to an extent. I know it’s not over when our bodies are lifeless. I believe our souls go somewhere else. But then what? Do our connections with our loved ones continue? And in what form? 

quiz time

I found another slightly different version of the same quiz on my hard drive. Rather than repost the whole thing, I'll just put up the answers that changed, albeit some only vaguely.

Three things you are wearing right now:
*care bare pj pants
*jay's drunknmunky shirt
*my engagement ring

Three things you want to do in the next 12 months: 
*driver's license 
*braces
*get in shape

Three careers you would consider:
*montessori teacher
*english teacher in japan 
*kindergarten or primary music teacher

Three places you want to go on vacation:
*japan
*seoul 
*san francisco

so, am i a bad person?

hello everyone i know,

so, merry christmas, happy new year... yup, i'm really late as usual. people have been complaining that i never call, never e-mail, never anything. don't fret though. i still love you! i don't have an excuse. do you want one? okay.... um, i've been working a lot, i'm lazy, and... have been a little busy. if you love me, you'll forgive me because you know.... i'm just like that.
for those of you who don't already know, jay and i are getting married! yes... finally. for those of you who do know.... plans are coming along nicely.
so, here's the dilly ~ we're getting married in mississauga on may 5th of this year (less than four months!) and we've invited both of out immediate families. after the ceremony (which we will be video taping to show (show-off) later), we're going out for chinese food. we hope to be able to plan a reception to take place in about a year or so, depending on out financial situation so keep that in mind!
sometime, i'm hoping mid-april, i'd like to have a "tea party" for my girls and me to get together so anyone in the mississauga/southern ontario area is invited.
as for my holiday time.... what holiday? i worked pretty much the whole thing except christmas eve, day, and new years day... which i used to sleep the entire time. quiet and non-holiday-ish. we went to ann's for christmas day and watched takeo open presents. cute!
enough about me... what's new with you?!

me?! baby fever????

oh, what the hell is going on.... i didn't think i had a "biological clock" but apparently, it's begn to tick. i want a baby!
of course i'm used to people always asking me "when are you getting married?" and "when are you going to have a baby?" but it never affected me before. but... within the past few weeks with new babies being born and my sister's wedding, all of a sudden i'm thinking the same thing! "yeah, when" instead of my usual stock answer of "never please!"
i told jay this morning that i wanted to have a baby. i didn't much like his reaction. i'm perfectly serious and when a woman says that, she means sooner than later. his thinking is three or four years down the road. the way we have always been is that we plan things but they're always so far off that they don't require thinking about ~ probably why we aren't married yet! but, of course he had good points ~ we aren't married yet and we can't fit a baby in our place so we'd need a house. still.... when you have a definite plan, things happen so much more quickly than you'd expect. if my heart is set on having a baby, then we could skip the big wedding and just go for civil service type of thing ~ or like what teena did with less than 5 people ~ and spend the money on a house and baby.
i don't know... what do you think? am i being realistic? or am i just hooked on a new idea?

p.s.

i got 93% on my first REAL university test! how much do i rock!?
seriously though, how the hell did that happen?

time once again wasted

i just thought of something...
there's no way that the bride of frankenstien would ever have gone for him. she's way better looking than he is. what's up with that anyway? why do you always see couples where one is attractive and the other painful to look at... take jay and i for example. it's okay for me to be yucky cause i don't plan to have kids. but i think that ugly people should not breed with pretty people. keep the uglies together and the hotties together. when ugly spawns baby of hottie... disaster can only occur. keep the population pretty!!
so, i never actually read (or watched) frank... did they end up together despite their differences?
hey, maybe it's better planning than i had thought. ugly people are generally nice and pretty people are shallow and stupid. maybe the ugly parent is to teach the kids the ways of the world and what-have-you? no, cause ugly people make ugly babies regardless of pretty partners, right? or just average at least. hmph... one of life's great mysteries.

damn spammers

damn you!
i had to turn on the comment verification ~ sorry.
if you leave an actual comment i will post it. if you're leaving me a personal message, you're better off just emailing me. save the comments for comments about what i wrote.

spam makes baby jesus cry!

an e-mail to everyone

From: me
Subject: "novemberance" day message
Date: Sun, 06 Nov 2005 23:58

I've been thinking about the war and what the soldiers fought for and what my generation takes for granted and what Canadians take for granted lately. We see so many people streaming in from war-torn countries and if you ever talk to anyone of them, they're amazed by Canada and our rights. To think that in some countries, they tell you what to wear, eat, think. Lately, it's been harder and harder to work in retail when I see young girls whining to their parents that it's not fair that they can't have a $200 pair of jeans. Although I can never understand the actions of 9-11, I can almost understand the frustration. Other countries can see it. Why can't we?

Anyway, all these thoughts have been mulling in my brain for a long time - since the passing of my grandfather and 9-11 - and I recently received an e-mail from my Auntie Deb which prompted me to put my thoughts down. (Thanks!) I wanted to pass them along to my friends and family in the hopes that this Remembrance Day we can all, if only for just one day, be TRUELY thankful for what the soldiers in WWII won for us. Even if you don't have any family members, alive or passed, who were in the war - take a look around and see what we have. Say a prayer for those who don't have. (And if you do have a living relative who fought in the war, give them a hug and say thanks while they're still here.)


Dear Grandpa,
I wanted to thank you but I never got the chance. I didn't understand in time. You've been gone for a few years now and since then, I've come to realize what you did for me. Before, it was always "just a day" when we'd go to assemblies in school and hear poems and songs or we'd go to see you lay your wreath. Now that I'm older and have seen a little bit more of the world I realize what "freedom" really means... and how I've always taken it for granted.

You lived in a time when your freedom was threatened and you believed in something. You went to war to fight and to defend what we view as a right. You never talked about your experience or lectured about what you had given up for me. You went to war in the hopes that I would never need to know. Yet, it must have hurt you to see me growing up and taking it all for granted. I was oblivious to your sacrifice.

Since you've been gone, I realize the lesson you taught me without saying a word. The vision of you walking across the stage, still so proud after all the years, will stick in my mind. You didn't die in the war but your death taught me what the war was about.
I will not forget.

tech savy-less

Apparently something is wrong with my website so I can't put up the picture of the loyalty character but when it's working, I will. (it used to be that a picture had to be online in order for you to embed it within a blogger posting but they changed that quite some time ago so that you can just upload it from your pc ~ good thing too now that geocities is gone and i no longer have a website!)

                                            
p.s. The reason I want "loyalty" tattooed to my body is that it is a very important virtue to me. I consider myself to be a very loyal friend/girlfriend/sibling, etc. It's something I expect and require of all the people I consider to be my best-whatevers.

bored

Oh, God, I love tea! Although, the date on the milk was the 12th. I should be okay, right? Well, we'll soon find out. I hate cankers! I've discovered that the only way for me to combat a canker is with hot tea. Voila!

I'm sitting here at the computer, wearing my insanely comfortable pucca slippers and a ratty old chixdiggit sweatshirt that USED to be black but is now a dingy charcoal with bleach stains on it (not from me), on my first day off in what seems like months (due to the drama surrounding the situation with a coworker who shall remain nameless to protect her privacy and little sanity left to her), but in actuality is only a week. Whilst perusing through my very long list of "links to check out thorougly before deleting" - otherwise known as "favourites", I thought to myself "why am I wasting my time reading through people's blogs that I don't know and aren't very interesting anyway when I haven't added a THING to my own blog in ages?". So, here I am. I don't really have anything to do on this glorious day off. I'm just doing some laundry and intend on cleaning the apartment.

What's new? Hmmmm.... I bought my wedding dress. Ssshhh! Don't tell Jay! It's actually what I plan to wear if we don't happen to have the big budget ceremony of my dreams with my custom wedding dress that I designed myself. This one I bought was on $79 (plus tax) and would work quite nicely if we do the simple civil service and if I lose 10 pounds or several inches off my waist. It's a white chinese dress. I didn't think they actually existed without the black or silver or gold through the embroidery! It's nice too. It has the simple cherry blossom embroidery pattern on it. Geena and I came across another one but the pattern was very heavy and it had pink piping all around it. Uck.

Anywho, I had seen this dress, like, a year ago and had been thinking about it ever since. It was at a store on Yonge Street that I frequent (because they have lots of cool asian gifties and "things" - incidentally the name of the store). I hadn't been back for awhile - obviously. Geena and I were downtown and we were heading up Yonge for bubble tea. It was SO freaking humid that I had to stop at least once a block to go into an air-conditioned space. It was on the way so I thought I'd stop in just to see if they still had it. YAY! Crazy asian sizing though. I can JUST squeeze into the large. As I said I'll have to lose quite a bit before it fits properly which I should do anyway. I would've bought the extra-large but I think it would've been too loose in the shoulders. The problem areas at the moment are the tummy (duh) and the chest. Ten years ago, if you had told me that I wouldn't fit into a large size dress because my boobs would be too big, I'd have laughed in your face! And so would everyone who knew me...

I'm really into the idea of getting another (or more) tattoos latley. Partly because my sister brought up the idea of us getting matching tattoos and partly because I watched an episode of Miami Ink and now it's my new favourite show. I've been thinking about several different things I'd like. There is of course my marriage tattoo which I have to wait until Jay and I get married to get. But it's not in the running for now cause who knows when (or if) we'll even get married. I think that if Katie wants matching tattoos, she should get the one I already have (cause Katie means "pure" too) and I could get another one. We could do it together for the 'bonding' experience. I'd like for her to come here around the time of her birthday but she has school. Maybe one day.

I've looked up quite a few things I'd like. Mostly more Chinese characters and I'm leaning most towards loyalty. I'd like it not just to be the basic black tattoo on white skin though. I want to design it a little more. Here's what it looks like.


I think for that one, I'd like to get it on my lower back just above my pant line. My current tattoo isn't visible - it's too low. And I'd like it to be bigger than my existing. (My marriage tattoo has a reserved spot. I want it running vertically from the middle of my neck on my right side to however far down it goes. I don't want it big though.)

A few other things I've thought about are a koi fish in the traditional intricate japanese design, two monkeys (twins-gemini and year of the monkey), and - just last night on an episode of Miami Ink, a girl was getting a lotus and said the symbolism behind a lotus is that it grows up from the murkiest of ponds and stuff - I thought that would be cool - kind of like a flower that grows up to be beautiful after going through a really hard time and being trapped in a dark, murky place. The only problem with that is that I don't feel I've overcome enough for it to hold true for me yet. It's an idea that I'll hold onto for when I feel like I have triumphed.

Jay's in Edmonton and has been since last Wednesday. I miss him a lot. He's home tomorrow night though. YAY! If I keep up with my blogging, I'll be able to post some pictures too. (He has the camera with him right now so I have nothing to post.)

11.08.13 note~ i forgot about this post and said almost the exact same thing about the lotus tattoo in a post today. oops.
i did end up getting a real wedding dress and i cut up the one i bought that day (!!!) and used it along with a black and red mandarin shirt i had to make my guest book and ring bearer pillow.
i'm also sad to say the store "things" closed down a few years ago. boo~

handmade guestbook for my wedding

ring bearer pillow - made from that dress and another shirt

yesterday

i went out for bubbletea with Geena before my class yesterday. i met her at bubble tease and then we walked over to sushi inn where i had spicy tuna roll (my favourite!) and gyoza (japanese dumplings) and half of geena's food. she had teriyaki chicken and rice. MMMMMMmmmmmmmm. it was all so good. i forgot to get my green tea icecream! i've been craving it for weeks! i'm going to go to baskin robbins before work. MAYBE they might actually have some. oooooh, i hope, i hope, i hope!
i must go shower and get ready. shouldn't take me too long cause i'm merchandising again tonight. made the mistake of wearing tight jeans last week. (i had bruises on my waist line where my belt loops dug in!). today, i'm going to be smart. sweatpants!

i made a family tree!

it took me like, 2 and a half hours! it's on my website but it's not done yet so i haven't posted it. since my grandmother passed away... no one will know what's going on in each other's lives. she was the centre of the family (the matriarchal head) that talked to everyone and passed the news along. i'd like to get the email addresses of everyone in my family and post it on the tree so we can all keep in touch. it has birthday and anniversary info too. of course, YOU will never see it. i'm only giving the exact address to my family. it's got a lot of personal info so it wouldn't be safe (or polite) to let the whole world know. (Geena, if you want to see it, I'll let you... ) anywho, i'm proud of it.
current mood: productive

*02/05/15 i wish there had been a way to screenshot things back then. my geocities website was so freaking cool! (considering the technology available back then) i liked it because you had complete control over where exactly things were placed on the page. now, it's all structured and there isn't much freedom (right, middle, centre, etc.) poop.
the family tree was on a background that was this old school drawing of a gnarled-looking ancient tree. it was pretty amazing, if you ask me. all i've got now is my memories. 

My NEXT tattoo

My first, and only, tattoo is pictured on the left. It's "pure" in Chinese. Karen means pure so I thought it would be appropriate.
Eventually, I'm going to get another one. After Jay and I get married though.
                           
It says "dragon" (Jay's sign) "monkey" (my sign) "horse" (Jay's last name - which once we're married - mine) "love" and "forever". I don't know where I want it yet. Probably on my shoulder closer to my neck and running vertically instead.

I also want to get "loyalty" on my lower back (where Geena has her tattoo - good spot).

                                           

My first one was done spontaneously and I didn't think about the placement carefully enough. It's too low.

Okay. NOW I'm going to bed!