yesterday, i was alerted to the fear of joy. dr. brené brown pointed out how so many people tamp down their feelings of joy with the idea that it will be taken away from them. if they don't let themselves get too wrapped up in joy, then they think they won't feel so devastated when things take the inevitable turn and something goes wrong. instead of just feeling gratitude for the joyous moments, we automatically turn towards how the moment can be ripped away.
i think this goes hand in hand with hope. we teach ourselves not to hope too much, so that when we don't receive what we hoped for, we aren't that disappointed. why do we do this? it's stupid. you cannot shield yourself from disappointment. it's a part of life. whether it's expected or out of the blue, it's not fun. but maybe, if we give ourselves over to giddy feelings hope ignites and let ourselves feel our own joy, those moments will carry us through those unpleasant times.
also, i believe so strongly in the law of attraction. if we don't expect that the things we hope for will come to us - and that we DESERVE them - they won't. if we hope for something, we put that out there into the universe. make it known! hope is like a prayer.
all that said ~ i am hoping that a) i will be offered this job and b) it will be an enjoyable, fulfilling experience and/or be a stepping stone towards being able to do what i ultimately want to do, which is to help others on their own journeys.
if it's not, i know i will be disappointed, but i also know the disappointment won't crush me.
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